If you’ve ever left a dinner party thinking, “That was magic—how did they make it feel so effortless?” there’s a good chance the host wasn’t obsessing over perfection. Marcie Pantzer, founder of luxury paper and entertaining brand Dear Annabelle, thinks the secret is simpler: start with the people.

A former Town & Country editor with a deep love of beautiful details, Marcie brings a polished-but-playful approach to gathering—equal parts elegance and wink. Whether she’s pairing old friends with “unexpected” guests, setting the scene with candlelight, or slipping in a surprise moment mid-party, her hosting style is designed to spark connection.

Ahead, Marcie shares the planning moves that make her gatherings memorable, plus the small details (hello, place cards) that instantly elevate the vibe.

Hosting Q&A with Marcie Pantzer

Q: When planning a gathering in your home, where do you start?

A: I believe that parties are all about the people, so I start with the guest list. I mix it up with people who are well acquainted and unexpected guests who I know will get on well with everyone.

Q: What are your favorite ways to break the ice or entertain guests?

A: Place cards! Though some people think of it as old-fashioned, I think it’s a genius way to encourage connection and surprising conversation, especially when the host has been super thoughtful about where people are seated. At Dear Annabelle, we make fun place cards that also act as conversation starters. Our Tasty cards assign each guest a description: Sweet, Saucy, Spicy, or Salty—which adds instant flavor to the party.

Q: If you had a limited budget for a small dinner party, what would you focus on for the tablescape?

A: Candles, hands down. Everyone looks prettier when you turn down the lights and have tons of candles, and the mood feels instantly elevated and cozy. I love to have a mix of votives, pillars, and tapers.

Q: What makes a great gathering memorable?

A: The people and the music are the most important things for me. I love an amazing playlist or, better yet, a DJ. I also love when parties have a surprise element. Passing around a shot of something boozy between the main course and dinner, a guest late-night DJ, or an impromptu game of bingo. A few summers ago, I put lottery tickets under each person’s plate, and we turned on the TV for the drawing. It was such a hit. 

Q: If someone is overwhelmed by hosting, what tips would you give them?

A: Start slow, invite just a few close friends, and keep it super casual. As you get more comfortable entertaining, you can increase the guest count and the formality. Remember, no one is expecting you to be Martha Stewart or Julia Child. They just appreciate that you are taking the time and effort to host them in your home.

Q: What are your favorite products or brands to use when hosting?

A: I love collecting tabletop pieces; I always joke that I’d rather buy new plates than the new "it" bag. I love pieces from Christofle, Laboratorio Paravicini, and Baccarat, and linens from Goldie Home, Los Encajaros, and Sferra. And—of course—Dear Annabelle cocktail napkins, place cards, and place card holders. I have a rule that I only make things I know I want to use myself.

Q: What’s your favorite party trick?

A: Dimmers! There is nothing worse than going to a party with bright lighting. I have been known to walk around other people’s homes to adjust the lighting. Also: stiff drinks!

Partytrick Take: Real Hosting Takeaways

Marcie’s version of “hosting well” isn’t about impressing guests; it’s about making it easy for people to connect. The throughline is mood: soft lighting, great music, and one playful moment that makes everyone feel like they’re in on something.

How can I recreate this hosting style in a simple way?

Pick one signature connection detail and repeat it. For Marcie, it’s place cards because they do double duty: they make the table feel considered, and they gently guide conversation.

Keep it simple:

• Write place cards for every guest
• Use a fun “prompt” style (a compliment, a mood, a playful label)
• Seat one “connector” person at each end of the table to keep the conversation flowing

Then add candlelight. Lots of it.

What is the most important planning decision behind this gathering?

The guest list strategy. Mixing well-acquainted friends with a few surprising additions changes the whole night—it creates new conversation pathways and keeps the energy from getting too predictable.

Once the guest list is right, everything else gets easier: the menu can be simple, the decor minimal, and the mood still feels special.

What can hosts borrow from this approach for their own event?

• Curate the room like a conversation. Think about who will bring out the best in each other.
• Elevate with mood, not complexity. Dimmers + candles + music = instant atmosphere.
• Add one surprise beat. A mini game, a late-night dessert, or a playful intermission makes it memorable.
• Make it comfortable to start small. A few close friends and a casual plan build confidence fast.

Want more from Marcie Pantzer and Dear Annabelle? Follow along on Instagram @dearannabellenyc and browse www.dearannabelle.com for more hosting inspiration. Ready to plan your own? Create a free Partytrick account and start with our playbooks.